I never would have guessed that blogging was therapeutic. I was anticipating learning lots of things but the great surprise has been learning about myself.
I am quite undisciplined and would rather play than work. So when play turns into a project that needs more work, then I find something else to play with. But I am an adult who is unhappy with my childish ways.
I received a book from a friend about Boundaries and it is causing some AHA moments. Boundaries should not be walls but fences with gates to let out and keep out the bad guys and those same gates welcome and send out the good guys.
* The only one who can change you is YOU!
I keep looking for external things to change an internal problem. If I have fears, problems, dysfunctions, etc. they are mine and I need to deal with them. I'm the gate keeper. I need to find the strength to keep my own word to myself. I will let in... I will escort out...
*Respect the limits of others.
This is probably the old "poor planning on my part does not make a crisis on your part". Hubby has his own things he wants to do. so...
*Take ownership for ones own needs.
I can't wait for hubby, the right time, the next sale, the perfect skill, etc. If I want it then I need to figure out how to get it to happen.
*Put off short term pleasure for long term gain.
That is actually my hubby's motto and I am slowly learning to delay self gratification. I'm 'saving' for my front room rug. :) And yes, the little savings stash is feeling pretty good.
I need to view progress on my projects as deposits in a savings account for the day when I have the sold tag in my hand. I do know that the euphoria of 'I gotta have it' very often turns to 'kick, kick, bad, bad' after the fact.
Sounds like work!
I'm still reading and still learning. My problem is the gal in the mirror. Have I mentioned that I don't like looking in mirrors? ;) I have noticed though that I seem to be accumulating mirrors for decorating accessories. I just got a big heavy one for my 50's room when I helped a friend move this week. The message is pretty clear. I found the enemy and it is ME!
I'd ask my followers/visitors for tips and advice but the reality is that I just need to keep my word (promise) to myself. And frankly, just blogging; putting my dreams out on view and then posting progress reports is very helpful and gratifying. But I really would like to get some of these dreams DONE!
So What if... I actually kept my word to myself?
3 comments:
What a wonderful post. I have trouble with boundaries. I like your suggestion of calling them fences with gates instead of walls. My mother is at home with full time help and it is really hard not to go over there all the time. I have a brother that does very little to help out. It is hard not to be resentful. Like you I do a lot of thinking and I know I am the only one that can change.
I don't like mirrors at all, but they are a great decoration, that's true! It is amazing what they can do to a room. But. In order to look at the result, I have to be in the mirror...
Well, I tell myself it is the work of nature. And is in my vision to dislike or to value what I see. It was my husband who taught me to see myself through his eyes. And the result is not too bad.
So nice to "meet" you Elle, I can relate to this in oh so many ways :)
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